Religion Jokes 2

The Lord on Billboards
That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it. -The Lord
I love you and you and you and you and... -The Lord
Will the road you're on get you to my place? -The Lord
Follow me. -The Lord
Big bang theory, you've got to be kidding. -The Lord
My way is the highway. -The Lord
Need directions? -The Lord
You think it's hot here? -The Lord
Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test. -The Lord
Do you have any idea where you're going? -The Lord
Don't make me come down there. -The Lord

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny standing in the foyer of the church, looking at a large plaque that hung there. After the young man of seven had stood there for some time, the pastor walked up beside him and said quietly, "Good morning, son." "Good morning, Pastor," replied the youngster, not taking his eyes off the plaque. "Can I ask you, Sir -- What is this for? Why are all these names listed on here?" "Well, son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together, staring up at the large plaque. Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one, Sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together.
The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'. " The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence'." The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well.....?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my Lord...'."