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Government Jokes 6 After he completes his current term as President, Bill Clinton is planning to retire to North Carolina. The only problem he is having is deciding to live in Morehead City down on the coast or Blowing Rock up in the Mountains.
Clinton Jokes How did
500 women sampled at random respond when asked if they would have sex with
Bill Clinton? During Nixon's administration we had a crisis involving "Tricky Dicky". Now we have a crisis involving "Licky Dicky" Why did
Bill get into this problem? Why is
there no proof? Prosecutor:
Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? What's
the difference between Watergate and Zippergate?
Bill Clinton fell deathly ill while being transported home from his Africa trip. Apparently he picked up a strange, life-threatening disease in one of the villages. He was rushed to Bethesda Naval Hospital for a complicated operation. He went under the knife in the early morning, and when he awoke, he saw that the curtains were closed around him and it was dark. "Why are the curtains closed?" the President asked the Secret Service agent sitting beside his bed. "Is it night already?" "No, Sir," the agent said. "There is a huge fire across the street and we didn't want you waking up and looking out the window and thinking that the operation was unsuccessful."
One of the best examples of how ridiculous government paperwork can be is illustrated by a recent case in Louisiana. A company president was trying to buy some land in Louisiana for a plant expansion, and he wanted to finance this new facility with a government loan. His lawyer filled out all the necessary forms, including the government reviewed his application and abstract and sent the following reply: We received today your letter enclosing application for your client supported by abstract of title. We have observed, however, that you have not traced the title previous to 1803, and before final approval, it will be necessary that the title be traced previous to that year. Yours truly." As a result, the lawyer sent the following letter to the government: Gentlemen, your letter regarding title received. I note you wish title to be claimed back further than I have done it. I was unaware that any educated man failed to know that Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France in 1803. The title of the land was acquired by France by right of conquest of Spain. The land came into possession of Spain in 1492 by right of discovery by a Spanish-Portugese sailor named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by Queen Isabella. The good queen, being a pious woman and careful about title, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope of Rome upon Columbus' voyage before she sold her jewels to help him. Now the Pope, as you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, made the world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to assume that He also made that part of the United States called Louisiana, and I hope the hell you're satisfied." |
