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Bar
Jokes 9 A cowboy runs into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!" The bartender pours out the shots, and the cowboy drinks them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast." The cowboy replies, "Well, you'd drink that fast too if you had what I have." The bartender says, "Oh my God! What is it? What do you have?" "I have only fifty cents!"
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen. He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!" A guy goes up to a woman in a bar and says, "I'm gonna make your nipples hard." She says, "Oh, yeah? My husband will kick your ass." He says, "And then I'm gonna turn you upside-down, pour beer in your pussy, and then guzzle it all down." She says, "That's it, I'm gonna tell my husband, and he's gonna kick your ass but real good." She goes home to her husband and says, "A guy at the bar told me he was gonna make my nipples hard." He gets really pissed off, and starts to walk out the door. She grabs him by the arm, and says, "He also said he was gonna turn me upside-down, pour beer into my pussy, and then guzzle it all down." Her husband turns around and walks back into the house. She yells, "Where are you going?" He says, "I ain't fucking with anybody who can drink that much beer." |
