Animal
Jokes 5
There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher
and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to
the guy with a Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get
something to eat." The guy with the Chihuahua says,
"We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The guy with
the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead. They walk over to
the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of
dark glasses, and he starts to walk in. A guy at the door says,
"Sorry, mac, no pets allowed." The guy with the Doberman Pinscher
says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The
guy at the door says, "A Doberman Pinscher?" He says,
"Yes, they're using them now, they're very good." The guy at
the door says, "Come on in." The guy with the Chihuahua
figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses
and starts to walk in. The guy at the door says,
"Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." The guy with the Chihuahua
says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The
guy at the door says, "A Chihuahua?" The guy with the
Chihuahua says, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?"
A horse and a chicken are playing in a
meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the
chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The
chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the
farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the
bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the
horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken
and horse were playing in the meadow again and this time the chicken fell into the
mud hole instead. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from
the farmer. The horse said, 'I think I can stand over the hole!' So he
stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and
pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse,
you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
There were these two guys out hiking
when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its
depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the
bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw
it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something
larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty , the two men
carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit
bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole!
The guys were still standing there
with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when
a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere
in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft
in front of them! The man replied, 'Oh no. That couldn't be my goat,
mine was tied to a railroad tie.'
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